


A New Meaning

by PJTL156



Category: CSI: NY
Genre: 9/11, Birth, F/M, Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:44:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJTL156/pseuds/PJTL156
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mac awaits for the birth of his daughter. Normally, this would be a happy occasion. Sadly, this is not a normal day. It is September 11th, 2011. The decade anniversary of Claire's death. He prays that this is a good sign. SMacked b/c Stella is the mom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Meaning

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know it's odd and old-fashioned that he's not in the delivery room, but it's the way the story took me.  
> This is dedicated to those who died on 9/11 and those who lost loved ones that horrible day.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY.

_Not today. It can't be today._ Mac is pacing up and down the hallway of the hospital.  _She can't be born now. Not until after midnight. She just can't._

Nothing can calm his nerves. The nurses try to get him to sit down, but to no avail. His mind is racing as usual.  _Lord, wait a couple hours, please._

One nurse in particular keeps checking up on him. She's used to first-time dads, so she understands why he's worried. Well, she thinks she does anyway.

"It'll be okay Mr. Taylor." The sweet blonde says.

"Detective Taylor." Mac retorts. The nurse frowns.

"Okay, Detective Taylor. Your wife will be just fine. The doctor thinks she only has another hour or so. She's almost fully dilated. Just waiting for your baby." The nurse's smile comes back.

"Thank you. I know they will be fine."  _Why won't you leave me alone? I wish someone was here with me right now. Someone that understands._ He thinks of Stella.  _She has other things to worry about. Namely giving birth to our daughter._

Mac and Stella had been married for a year and a half now. They hadn't been expecting to have kids. It was just one of those things. When Stella had taken the [pregnancy](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7328384/1/A_New_Meaning) test it seemed like hours before they knew the results. For weeks all they did was read and research babies. Neither of them wanted to be unprepared for their child.

When Stella had her first checkup seven months ago, he was ecstatic. They held hands as her doctor explained what was going to happen for the next few months and beyond.

" _When is the due date?" Stella had asked excitedly._

" _Around September 11th, actually." The doctor said._

_Mac had gasped. His world seemed to be sucked away. Stella had pated his hand and reassured him the due date was just an estimate._

Until now her reassurance had worked. It was now September 11th, 2011 at ten o'clock pm. If that baby was born in the next two hours, it would be a forever reminder of the tragedy one decade ago today. Mac didn't need another reminder. His brain already did that every day.

The reminders didn't happen all day long like it used to, though. That had pretty much stopped once Stella and he had [started dating](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7328384/1/A_New_Meaning) two years ago. Now he had someone else to take over his thoughts. Actually, in the last nine months, two someone's.

Stella had had her ultrasound around four months ago. That was when they found out the gender. They were going to have a baby girl. When they had went home that night they went through names, but couldn't decide. There were so many. Instead of figuring it out early, they decided to wait until she was born. Give her a name that fit her well.

For the last few minutes Mac had been thinking about everything. The entire time he was pacing.

"Detective Taylor?" Annoying nurse from earlier says.

"Yes."

"The doctor is delivering the baby now. In a few minutes, after we check her out, we'll let you in the room." The nurse almost seems more cheerful than Mac.

"Thank you."  _I'll get to hold my daughter for the first time. I should be overjoyed._ Anger for himself is boiling.  _Why can't I let it go? It's just a birthday._  He tries to reassure himself, but it doesn't work. His mind telling him that it's not okay. It's a bad sign. His heart is being ignored.

Mac doesn't realize he's been thinking for ten minutes now. The nurse walks towards him once again. This time she directs him back to Stella's room.

She opens the door for him and he steps in. Stella is holding a beautiful baby girl in light pink. Her tiny hand wrapped around Stella's finger. His wife has a smile bigger than he's ever seen before. It's a moment he will never forget for the rest of his life.

"Hi. This is our daughter." Stella says in a hushed voice.

"Hello little one," Mac says to the little bundle of joy as Stella hands her over to him, "I'm your daddy." He instantly melts. Her hand is now clasped around his finger. Tears stream from his eyes. You know what they say: a woman becomes a mother as soon as she learns she's pregnant; a man becomes a father the first time he holds his baby in his arms.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Pride and love emanate from Stella's eyes.

"Yes, she is. Just like her mother." Mac feels the same way.

Their daughter has a little bit of dark, kinky hair like her mother, and beautiful blue eyes like her father.

The new parents look at her for a long time and don't say anything else.

Stella looks over at her husband. She's saddened by Mac's eyes. He's ecstatic to be a father, but she can sense something else is wrong. Of course she already knows what it is. On her way to the hospital they had tried to talk about it. It didn't really work well with Stella breathing hard and having contractions.

Her water had broken at seven in the morning. They have both been here all day. The new parents look like they've just gotten off an all-nighter.

Instead of trying to get Mac to spill his feeling to her, she lies down. She knows Mac will take care of their daughter until she wakes.  _Our daughter. Never thought I'd see the day that would happen._ In a few short minutes she's asleep.

Mac sighs and brushes the child's hair back with his hand. He plants a tender kiss on her forehead. She wiggles, which makes Mac give her a small smile.

 _I don't know what to think. Is her birthday a good thing, or a bad thing?_  He really isn't sure. That is until he looks at the precious gem in his arms. She's looking up at him; her eyes seem to know who he is already. How she does, he doesn't know. A smile creeps onto his lips.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Your mommy and I are so proud of you. I can already tell you're going to be just like her. You even have her hair. Don't ever grow up. Remember that I'll always protect you. I love you." He leans over and kisses his daughter once again. This time she almost seems to smile. Or it could just be Mac's imagination.

All of a sudden Mac feels like someone is watching him. It's not a bad feeling, though. He looks around. No one is in sight.  _Claire?_  He asks in his own mind. He can't get the name to form out loud. Mac tries to smile.  _Is this a sign, Claire? A good sign?_

He feels a rush of happiness take him over. Mac has no idea where it came from. That doesn't mean he doesn't have an idea, though.

"Claire? Is this a sign? Are you trying to tell me something?" Mac asks into thin air. Naturally there is no verbal response. Instead, he feels the same rush. Now Mac knows for sure.  _This is a good sign. Claire is happy for us. All of us._ He smiles and looks at their newborn.

"Okay, Mac. What are you thinking?" Stella says while stretching. She has just woken up from a twenty minute nap.

"Just that my life is now perfect with you two." He looks at Stella, then the new baby girl. They both smile.

"I thought of her name. Well, dreamt it actually." Stella says with a scared, but sly smile on her face.

"Are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess?" He says playfully.

"Jillian Claire Taylor. In my dream that was what we called her." She says this hoping for a good reaction. Stella leaves out the part that Claire was in her dream congratulating them. She felt that Mac had had his own experience by the look in his eyes, so she felt this one was for her alone. They both have something to hold onto.

"That's a beautiful name. I love it just like I love you two girls. You are my life. I will do anything for you." Mac says completely honest.  _I would sacrifice myself in a heartbeat for them._

"Me, too, Mac. Me, too." She pats his hand and smiles.

Mac hands Jill over to Stella. He lies next to her on the bed. They both stare at the new center of their life. While they do that, someone else is watching them.

"Congratulations you two. Mac, I'm so glad you finally have a family. You and Stella deserve it. I'm glad you moved on. It's such an honor for Jillian to be named after me. This day now has a new meaning for you both. That's how I wanted it. Thank you Stella. Thank you Mac. You'll be wonderful parents." Claire smiles down at them, then leaves. Both feel the presence go, but don't say anything. Claire approves and their daughter is in their arms. Nothing else matters.


End file.
